Maybe good enough to be human
by Weird Light
Summary: not too long, i think you'd like it.. please read. just about a girl giving up a chance to be a sailor scout.
1. give up a chance

Disclaimer: I do not own sailor moon, I do own sailor light though *grins*.  
  
Notes: I wanted to do this manga version but I forgot the girl's Japanese names,  
  
Sorry... * shrivels into a little heap apologizing* hope you enjoy this. *Grins*  
  
If you review it I might just make it a series *looks hopefully at you all* please?  
  
  
  
Maybe, good enough to be human  
  
"Sailor light is just a story. I'm sorry, I wished to be one of you so bad;  
  
I endangered myself and many others. Then, when you asked me to fight I tried, really  
  
tried and something came out but then... she came to me, The Light and told me how I,  
  
by pretending to be something I am not, endangered so many others. How I have lost  
  
the right to the holly name of a sensei, how I would have become one of you. I wish I could have helped you, could have been one of you, but I am not like you. It is better this way, I am not good enough. I am to  
  
selfish and human, I would not fight first for the ideals of truth and justice. I am sorry  
  
if I brought up your hopes but I cannot join you. I have proven my self too human.  
  
A girl, whose name you do not need to know"  
  
Looking back at the note a tear fell from her eye. How could I have been so selfish? I could  
  
have been one of them, I would have. Shaking her head, she realized they would search her out,  
  
knowing them, sailor moon if not Venus and the others, would look for her hoping to awaken  
  
her powers. They would not believe that being too human, too arrogant; too wanting could change what fate had made true. They did not realize what they were. After their first sensei transformation, they were more then human. With all their strengths, and almost no faults, or ones that would not affect their strength and true, right desire to fight.  
  
She knew what she was. She was not one, especially not anymore, with the right or qualifications  
  
for rebirth and immortality. Just as a true sensei transformation brings you above the statues  
  
of human kind for eternity, an untrue, fake transformation brings you below; far below, the  
  
statues of normal humans. Once the fake transformation is complete, you are no longer  
  
even able to hope, you have no chance for that godlike existence the senseis unknowingly have.  
  
Letting one last tear fall she swallowed her hurt, and hatred for herself and wrote a new note.  
  
"Sailor light is just a story. I am not, and never was a sailor scout. I never really transformed,  
  
it was a costume. I am truly sorry, for a while I truly believed I was a sailor scout. Then,  
  
when the attack would not work, I knew I was only my mother's child. I am sorry. I wish I could  
  
have fought with you. Do not worry; I am going for help soon. Do not worry, I will never  
  
tell anyone what your names are. I promise. I will not even write them here, for I am not  
  
worthy." thinking she erased the last sentence. " Goodbye sensei, fight well.  
  
A girl"  
  
Hating lying to the sensei, she licked an envelope and placed the folded paper inside. Within twenty minutes she was at the arcade, there Andrew sat, blond hair in his face and blue eyes shining through, looking paranoid. Smiling she wondered if he was suspises of this 'sailor light' the girls  
  
had apparently told him about. He was human, and had every right to be, it was in his nature.  
  
Actually, at first, she had wondered why the sensei had been so willing to believe her, having  
  
not even seen her transform. Suddenly she realized he was staring at her and swallowed the lump in  
  
her throat walking up to him smiling.  
  
" Where is the sa..." stopping she wondered if she could just give him the note for Serena, instead of leaving it in the headquarters as she had originally planned. Maybe after being around them so long, he was good enough to not read it.  
  
"Where is?" looking at the girl oddly he wondered if she needed help, she seemed so confused  
  
and scared, for just a moment before smiling assuredly.  
  
" Where usagi is? Do you know where usagi is?" smiling she asked the question as if what perfectly  
  
normal for her to know sailor moon's name... of course many people know her name with out  
  
knowing it was her...  
  
"Probably still in school, it's only eleven. By the way, why aren't you in school on a Saturday?  
  
Your not even in uniform."  
  
Mentally hitting herself in the head for forgetting that Japanese had school half day on  
  
Saturday she thought faster then she ever had. " Hum, oh yeah, I forgot normal schools  
  
are in Saturday. I go to an American style private school that just opened a few years ago  
  
on the other side of town. It's very small. I met usagi at a festival at the temple on cherry  
  
blossom hill and she told me to come here if I wanted to fine her after school or weekends when  
  
she wasn't home."  
  
" Oh, I don't remember any school opening. I must be getting old" smiling happy this was not  
  
the 'sailor light' the girls had told him to watch for. For some reason he just couldn't  
  
trust a sensei that Luna had not been able to sense from a few blocks away, or one none of  
  
them remember or had heard of. Even Rini from the future.  
  
"Well could you give this note to her when she comes in please? It's very important. It's about"  
  
Pretending to giggle she thought of something that would destroy his interest "The guy I like"  
  
Laughing Andrew grinned evilly "all right, and don't worry I won't read it."  
  
Smiling relieved she truly giggled, "thank you." suddenly she felt better,  
  
almost good enough to be called human again.  
  
Later, when Usagi read the note aloud to the girls where he could hear Andrew understood  
  
the emotions that flicked across the young girl's face and hid during that conversation. She only  
  
wanted what none of us can have. She knows, like I do, like anyone who knows their secret, they  
  
are too good. We love them, care for them, adore them, wish to be one of them but we cannot be.  
  
We are all too human. Thinking he wondered if he should tell the girls what he thinks, what they  
  
could not understand without the help of someone all too human. Slowly, he decides against it,  
  
Maybe he has started to pick up the sailor's angel like personalities but at first he does not  
  
understand why he should not tell them that the girl may have really had power but she didn't feel  
  
good enough too be one of them.... to fight with them.  
  
No, they did not need to know. If they knew they would not feel anger toward her, they would  
  
feel pity. Even then he could here Ray yelling about brats and fan clubs. They might even try to  
  
find her, and, he somehow knew, she did not want to be found. Could any of us really decline from  
  
an offer to be more then human, twice? Shaking his head he smiled and took the milkshake to the table  
  
where Mina was saying how they could not help being so popular, where Amy was analyzing 'sailor light's'  
  
mental condition, where Usagi, Lita and Ray where simply ranging from slightly angry to furious.  
  
No, they would not understand. Besides, they don't need to know what they are yet. Smiling he  
  
looked at the perfect god and goddess in front of him, drinking milkshakes. 


	2. maybe?

Disclamier: I do not own anyone I have mentioned so fare in this story except for the girl.. Who's name I have not mentioned either grins wondering hay maybe you people IF YOU READ AND REVIEW this can give me an idea for a name? If I get enough (5) people to review it I'll make a regular contest out of it(hay I'm realistic grins ) w/ rules posted on the review thing (IF I get five before halloween)  
  
"Hay Andrew, how's it going?" asked a slightly familiar female voice as the doors of the arcade swing open. Guessing it is one of those regulars he can never remember Andrew finishes wiping the video screen and automatically replies. " Kind of quite today, it should get busy next week though, the new sailor moon game will be coming out." " No Usagi?" the surprised voice wondered, sounding disappointed and relieved all at once. Looking up with a start Andrew saw an all too familiar face; though he had only seen it once before. "You." staring he drops the dirty rag in his hand and his jaw seems to drop to the floor with it. " I came back too.." Dropping her eyes he sees her hands, clasped in front of her barely tremble. " I don't know why I came back. I can not help them. Not anymore." Looking up she sees understanding and forgiveness in his kind, blue eyes. "I just felt like I needed to come here." Thinking back on her words she realizes she had no urge to see the Senshi. just to come back to the arcade. I know why you did that. Told them you had no power." Surprised her head shot up and a confusing look of surprise, fear, confusion and wonder searched his face. "What? What did you? Did you read the note?" almost shocked her voice grew quiet by the end of her sentence. "No, no, nothing like that." Shaking his head he assured her he had not. " I overheard them, well really put myself in a position to overhear all of them read it." Blushing he smiled slightly embarrassed. With the ackward silence that followed both became lost in thought. Words, ideas, anything and everything, related to the Senshi and humanity flew threw his head. A single memory above all others seemed to fly into his head: A warm spring day, Usagi, Ami and Ray are sitting in their favorite booth drinking milkshakes and studying, trying to see if the change of environment would help Usagi relax. The sunshine through the window on them and books and papers pilled around them. Andrew was wiping down some tables, absent-mindedly watching and listening to them. " I can't believe Mina and Lita are late." Sounding exasperated Ray almost tore the paper she was working on trying to erase something. " And to top it all over Usagi was actually here EARLY. Maybe we should meet at the arcade more often." Looking up almost hurt, but mostly angry Usagi threw a paper at Ray's face. " Hay I'm only human you know. So what if I was late a few times, something happened. Its no reason to p." Suddenly the memory ended and Andrew walked up to the girl, staring at him with big brown eyes. Placing his hands on her shoulders he looked right into that long face and said what she had come to hear. " You are human. If I had the chance I can't say I would have done what you did, I doubt even my sister would be able to give up that chance. You did the right thing." Lifting up her young chin to make her look him the eye he continued. "All you ever did was be born human. Maybe more then human if you could refuse their offer. You did NTOHING wrong." Suddenly tears fall from her eyes, she takes her hand and slowly, wiping them away licks her finger. Looking at where the tear was she stares awed. Not a single tear had fallen sense that day, when she had thought she might, just, be good enough to be called human. Now, those tears, from life, from loneliness, from watching the Senshi through the paper, all came out, after over two years. Falling slightly forward into his shoulder Andrew released his grip on her and circled her shoulders with his arms. Minutes passed and neither moved until a sound came from outside the arcade of teenage girls laughing, followed by a single bell marking their entrance. 


End file.
